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Saturday, April 27, 2013

Bitter Sweet Memories

So many people are having babies these days, it's like it's the Baby Boom all over again! 2 out of the 5 pregnant women that I know had their baby boys during the past 2 weeks and I've seen many more facebook notifications and statuses announcing even more new babies that have been brought into the world throughout the past couple days.

2018 Kindergarten Teachers better be ready for some big class sizes!!!

I'm very sad to say that in alittle over a month, my daughters will be 6 and 7 yrs old! No longer babies :( I can't believe it's been over 6 years since I had my first child. Loran was a true blessing to me. I was quiet the party girl when I was younger and I was never into the whole settling down and getting married dream like most girls my age were. (I'm still not interested in the whole marriage ordeal as an adult) I just wanted to have fun and I didn't care who I hurt in the process. I made my way through alot of dust trails in my teen years but I wouldn't change a thing. It all lead to the way my life is today. No, we're not rich and my relationship is no where near perfect but I do believe that I found a wonderful man who I am proud to say is the father of my girls. Our family is happy and that's all that matters.

I'd had many family members tell me that getting with Alan was the wrong choice because he was 5 years older than me and already had 2 kids of his own but that didn't matter to me. I fell inlove with those little boys of his just like I fell inlove with their father. It's not like I was with the man for 2 months and got pregnant.... we were together for over a year before I got pregnant with Loran. When I found out I was pregnant, I had just turned 18, had a full time job and had been in a serious relationship for just over a year. Yes, I lived with my mama, my boyfriend did as well. You may not agree with the way we lived or the way I was raised but it worked. I was able to be there for my mama and little brothers and she was able to be there for me. (My step-dad was jealous of my mama and I's relationship so me and him never got along) I went months before I told my mama I was pregnant. She kind of already knew but I would never confirm it. When I finally told her that I was pregnant.... she cried. The only thing she could say was "What are you going to do?" Of course I replied with "I'm going to have a baby!"

It didn't take long before she was just as happy as I was that a new baby was going to be added to the family. Once I went to the doctor, I realized that i was 4 months pregnant...... I had turned 18 just 2 months before that... I got pregnant at the age of 17. Yes, that's young but I have to say that kids these days are starting alot earlier than I did and I'm not okay with it... I do have 2 DAUGHTERS!

Anyways, I gave birth to Loran on June 12 of 2006. A beautiful baby girl that already looked just like her daddy. Alan and I got our own place and about 3 months later I realized that I was pregnant again! I wasn't as happy about this pregnancy as I was about the first but once I found out i was having another girl, I felt alittle better. As soon as I was able to feel my baby girl move inside my belly..... I was inlove! No one was going to tell me that I wasn't going to be able to raise my daughters. They were my life now and I would risk mine to save them.

Jade was born at the end of May... Just 2 weeks before her sisters 1st birthday! My daughters are only 11 months apart... for 2 weeks out of the year my daughters are the same age! They look nothing alike so noone can mistake them as twins but if I get asked about their age during that 2 weeks out of the year.... I get some crazy looks. It's pretty funny and even though my daughters fight OFTEN, they love each other and  will never be without a best friend. They support each other and protect each other and that's what makes me smile.

This summer is going to be so bitter sweet when my girls become even bigger girls then they are right now... Age 7 is no longer a baby and I'm not sure how I will feel when the end of May starts getting closer.


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